rant warning again

oh
i didnt update yesterdaY?

checking the SEP planned for people up till end dec 2012
went around chasing people for their licenses
kept asking around what is their names
or else i'll just ask the same person twice and get "not" scolded
day 3 of my life i feel like cutting my wrist.
i think i might just go ahead with it.

today
same
most probably
or maybe + doing some inserting of the leaves requested by pilots.
the reason i dont cut.
i dont have the disinfection liquid thingy and neither do i have bandages.
worse of them all
i dont have a reason to cover my hands all the time because singapore is just so frickin hot so it doesn't make sense if i go out wearing long sleeves
yea and some prayer thingy
uhh
like i'll min go at least twice a month
and like they'll chop something on my hand
so they'll recognise.

or maybe
i should just heck it all
and just cut
if they find out
so be it.
yep
sounds like a plan.

today ernita wont help me identify pilots.
i'll have to get a pen knife soon.
hell even if i've changed my name
i dont' want to be sociable.
i spent most of my childhood in school as a loner
since primary school in primary 2
so that makes me a loner for more than 12 years
i only changed my name like... 3 years ago
damn right if people can change
but i cant take any more changes
and neither can i take this kind of shitty stress.
i dont mind talking to strangers
my problem?
talking in a crowded place.